What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
As I mentioned on the home page, I knew nothing about this disorder until interviewed by the police. I was oblivious of these monsters out there but once I started researching Narcissistic Personality Disorder things really started slotting into place for me. Having now spoken to many victims of narcissistic abuse the majority were unaware of this condition when in the relationship and only found out about it when it was too late, so I felt it important to include it on the website.
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A person with NPD will believe they are far more superior than others, having a distorted image of themselves. NPD is more prevalent in men than women and they feel like their feelings and views are way more important than others. A narcissist may pretend to sympathize with you but really they are void of feeling any empathy as they are only in a relationship to gain what they can and to obtain their narcissistic supply
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They will exaggerate talents and and lie about what they have achieved and thrive on manipulating people and situations. They are often very patronising and hate being contradicted but underneath the mask they really have incredible low self esteem and are massively insecure.
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NPD symptoms can differ between individuals but it is believed that someone with NPD will display five or more of the following traits:
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- Highly conceited, rude or arrogant attitudes
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Preoccupied with power and success
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Constantly seeking attention and admiration of others
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Believe they are unique and that only other special people/institutions will understand them
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Believe they are entitled to preferential treatment
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Lack empathy and disregards feelings of others
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Takes advantage of others to reach their own goals
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Often envious of others and/or believes others are envious of them
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Believe that they are superior to others and are often rule breakers
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The Narcissist in a Relationship
At first you will think you have met your perfect partner, they are extremely confident, funny, and very attentive. They shower you with compliments, love and affection, this is called the Love Bombing stage. They will try to mirror you and win your confidence and it normally works, as who doesn't like this sort of attention in a new relationship!
Once you have been sucked in, the fun for them begins - The manipulation starts and once they've got you where they want you and got what they want from you, they will drop you. They do or say things to confuse you, so you start to question your own sanity, this is called Gaslighting This manipulation method gives them power over you and makes you more dependent on them.
There's normally a very dramatic ending but just be grateful they finally showed their true colours, don't look back and get the hell out of there! They will then try to discredit you and blacken your name, you will be the pyscho ex-partner but you know who you are, just stay strong and go NO contact. No more monsters you can breathe again and you can now start the healing process.
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What is APD ?
APD is short for Antisocial Personality Disorder basically the other name for a Sociopath.
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So what makes you a sociopath rather than a narcissist? Being a sociopath they would need to show at least 4 traits of the below
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Doesn't conform to social norms and has a disregard for the law
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Lacks remorse often steals from others and feels justified hurting others
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Cannot sustain consistent work
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Pathological lying, conning , using aliases and has many debts
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Very aggressive , verbally and physically
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Recklessly disregards their own safety and safety of others
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Irresponsible behaviour and cannot honour financial obligations
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Cannot sustain monogamy and will always cheat
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Very impulsive
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I certainly don't claim to be an expert on NPD or any other disorders and I suggest if any of this has rung true that you start your research. Here are a few websites and videos that may help to answer more of your questions on NPD, APD and other mental disorders
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One of the best websites for information of every aspect of narcisstic abuse
Richard Grannon's YouTube posts got me through my darkest of days, with his knowledge, honesty and wit I came to the realization that what I'd been through wasn't my fault. I watched them repeatedly and everything just slotted into place.
For more information on Richard and to view his website
Dirty John
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Debra Newell wanted to share her story so she could prevent other women getting into the same nightmare situation as she and her family were put in when she met sociopath John Meehan via an online dating site.
Watch the shocking series on Netflix or listen to the podcasts that are reported and hosted by Christopher Goffard from the L.A. Times.
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To listen to the podcasts
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Praying by Kesha
Kesha's song Praying helped me through my darkest moments, I repeatedly belted it out in my kitchen and it gave me so much strength.
Kesha admits she has been a victim of abuse and her songs and words reflect her scars, take a listen as the words are so empowering and will hopefully help you too.
"I’m proud of who I am. No more monsters—I can breathe again.
And you said that I was done. Well, you were wrong, and now the best is yet to come.”
